dear andy,
today is the day. the day that you get here. the day that i finally get to see you again. and starting today, we get to be a normal couple again, at least for a little while. i'm incredibly excited to see you. you're in flight right now, but i hope this letter will reach you somehow.
it has been a hard few days. again, darkness has arrived just in time for my birthday. i think of my cousin and all i feel is sadness. it's a feeling i haven't experienced before, at least not for another person. part of me wants to see him again, to talk to him, to do all those things one last time, but i can't bring myself to do it. because it would be as though i was submitting to the belief that he's not going to make it through this. that i accepted his demise. i don't believe it. i can't believe it.
life is short. i don't know what i would do if knew i only had a limited amount of time left to live. i think about it sometimes and it's never nearly as sad as losing someone close to me. i feel as though i would take their place every time. i can't stand the idea of living without my family or living without you.
but enough talk about life and death. today is not the day for that. today is a day to celebrate and to embrace. today is the day that i get to see you again. the day that my phone is no longer my boyfriend, but you are. i can't wait to hold your hand and feel your arms around me. i can't wait to look into your eyes while you tell me you love me. the moment can't come quick enough.
yours & always.
